If you’re like me, you have been in a situation many times where you want to change and nothing happens. A classic example is something like a bad habit or a bad behaviour that you would like to remove. It’s easy to fix when ‘habit-stacking’ can work to your advantage, like not picking up your phone first thing in the morning. That’s easy, but not all habits can be stacked.

If your goal is to change a habit where the trigger is external and not a regular occurrence, to which you can stack, then it becomes really hard. This week, however, I have received new hope. Hope that it’s possible.

At my work, the cafeteria is on the second floor. Being a large open space, this means that it’s a lot colder than my regular working space. Last week, on Monday, when I went upstairs, I realize I was cold. So, after bringing all my food and whatever else I want to have with me on my lunch break, I went back downstairs and got my sweater.

You would think that on Tuesday, after my Monday experience, I would remember to take my sweater with me, right? Alas, no. Same story: Upstairs. Cold. Back downstairs. Get sweater. I would love to say that Wednesday I remembered, but I only remembered while walking up the stairs and that’s a little too late.

At this point it looks disappointing. Clearly the habit that was instilled was to go upstairs, realize I’m cold, get sweater than have lunch. Yet I was proven wrong, because on Thursday as I was packing my stuff to go for lunch, I remembered to take the sweater. It’s magic, right? It’s not like the sweater was on my chair and I remembered. The thought just bubbled up and I remembered. Rest assured the same thought came back on Friday as well.

So what did we learn? Well, first that change is possible, but more importantly that change happens even when you didn’t see it. The change did not happen on Wednesday or Tuesday. It was a gradual change. Every day I was upstairs and had to go back and get my sweater my brain made the neural connections so that I remember.

Great, but this is habit stacking… No. It is not. It’s not linked to preparing to go for lunch. I would love to think that, but no. When I meant by attaching to a habit and apply habit stacking I am talking about stacking it to a normal “stimuli” like, I woke up, and first thing I will do is raise myself, pick up my phone and headphones, open Medito app and do a 5 minute meditation. Then I will get up, make my bed, drink some water and go shower. These are stacked. If I get my phone and I open Medito, then I can guarantee that the rest will happen because of stacking. They are chained and you can tell when the “bell” rings in your mind telling you what is next.

The sweater case, was not the same pattern. It was like a random thought. An interruption of sorts. Like an interruption on TV channel.

We interrupt our regular programming to bring you this special bulletin. “You must take your sweater with you”.

So, next time you realize your mistake only after you’ve made it, don’t be discouraged. That after-the-fact frustration is just your brain doing the background work. The change is already happening inside you. You just haven’t seen the results yet.

I will leave you with a few lines from one of my favourite songs: SENDA (Path) by DISHYPE.

(Translated from Spanish)

I’ve done everything,
I don’t know what else to do.
It’s just that you’re so focused on the outcome,
That you don’t see what’s already changed inside you.

(Original in Spanish)

Ya hice todo
Ya no sé qué más hacer
Es que estás tan enfocado en el resultado
Que no ves lo que ya cambió dentro de ti